December 6, 2018
Have you ever formed your own āgirl codeā? You know, itās the code that defines the moral guidelines of your āwe are best-friends-foreverā status that youāll want to boast about all your life. Everything seems magical and fine when youāre with your BFF on a beach gulping that beer or sipping that glass of red wine. You have both made pinky promises that you will never let a man come between you both and you trust each other blindly on this. Why wouldnāt you? Itās the promise thatās between your best friend and you. But, do you think best friends keep this promise when they find someone who sweeps them off their feet? Hell no! Speaking from experience, Iāll tell you why.
Neha (my best friend) and I had our own vows of being the besties we had entitled each other with. For me, she was my person and nothing on earth would change that. Or so I thought. We were inseparable! We met almost every day and spent hours talking to each other and hanging out with each other. On the few countable days we couldnāt meet, we spoke over the phone. We went on vacations with each otherās family as well. And yes, we discussed our crushes before we bore our hearts out to our crushes. We obliged to our girl code where weād agreed that we would never let a romantic relationship ruin our friendship. We had vowed to prioritize our friendship over any random guy whoād enter our lives.
Honestly, I was! I would go gaga over every other guy at the drop of a hat. And she stood there beside me warning me if he was a not-so-nice guy. She was like an anchor in my life keeping me grounded whenever I let my relationships overwhelm me. And every time we sat down discussing my love life, Iād tell her that I so wish she finds a guy soon and then we could go on fun double dates. For me, love happened once, twice, thrice, and then I just stopped counting (giggles). But for Neha, it never happened even once (sigh). On the other hand, my life revolved around three things ā my best friend, me, and my flavor-of-the-week (wink wink).
Neha finally was in love for the first time in her life. She phoned me the moment she realized that cupid has struck her. Her happiness knew no bounds. Iād not met the guy in person. He seemed to be good enough in the pictures and I never doubted Nehaās choice because honestly, she was the smarter one amongst us. I was happy, really happy for her, but I didnāt think it would change my dynamics with her. See, I thought her guy will now enter my list of important friends. Iād started to imagine all the fun double dates that Iād talked about. And I saw myself standing beside her like an anchor now. I felt happy that she found what she was looking for and I was happy for myself because I could do all things Iād always wanted to with us and our boyfriends together.
At first, I was fine with certain things. I gave Neha the benefit of doubt, excusing her absence all of a sudden in my life thinking she was in this honeymoon phase of love. I took a step back thinking I should let her live those moments; after all, Iād lived them too. However, her replies to my text messages started dwindling. Then, the binge-watching of travel documentaries stopped. And then I wasnāt included even in her family brunches.
In the beginning, I cursed myself for having trusted her with our girl code. How could she? Iād never do that, I often thought to myself. Then I took some time off to think. And I realized that even Iāve done that. There were so many times I had called Neha only when I found my boyfriendās phone to be busy. I had made her my second choice a lot of times that I couldnāt even remember of. I used to tag her along to my date just because I couldnāt take time off to meet her separately.
Sure, you know this by now. I set a bad example for her. I was the one in a relationship before she was and I taught her all the things that a friend shouldnāt do to her best friend. In the end, she did prove she was smarter than me. She didnāt force me to go on her dates. She took a completely different route altogether. She didnāt behave like me when I used to be dating a guy. She slowly pushed me away instead of making me go through what I made her go through.
Social media became a shrine for her relationship, and our pictures were slowly being pushed down in the feeds. I could have fought for my place in her life but I accepted that time has changed things between us now.
All I can say is I miss her terribly. I very fondly look back at all my memories with her. And Iām not complaining, Iām happy that she is happy. And weāll make memories sooner or later again. I shall wait for her to understand that she has a best friend waiting for her. Until then, I will only keep wishing the best for her.